The wife sat down on the couch next to the husband as he was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
He said, 'an inch of dust!!'
The wife was hinting about what she wanted for their upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
The husband bought her a weighing scale.
When the husband got home last night,
The wife demanded that he take her to some place expensive.
So, the husband took her to a gas station.
The wife and husband were sitting at a table at the husband high school reunion.
The husband kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
The wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' he sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says the wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
The husband took his wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took the husband order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself.."
The wife is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband :
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies : 'Your eyesight is still damn perfect.'
The husband asked his wife : "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed his heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So the husband suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
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